Puberty and your feelings

​Puberty is controlled by hormones, and these hormones affect your feelings as well as your body. During puberty, your emotions may become stronger and more intense. It’s common to go through mood swings – when your feelings change quickly and randomly. Talking with family members may help you sort out your feelings. Parents, grandparents, aunts, cousins and sisters can comfort and support you.​

Eating natural remedies will re-energise you and help your brain regain energy i.e. honey and dried fruits.

One of the prescriptions that was often used in the past was talbeenah – a broth that soothes the heart of sick person, takes away their grief, clears their stomachs and intestines (cleanses it, makes it flow, makes it more liquid, adjusts it and restores balance). Talbeenah is made from barley flour with a cup of water, heated on a low fire for five minutes and then a cup of milk and a spoonful of honey is added. ​

Dhikr and dua are one of the great remedies that will get rid of the thoughts going through your mind and the things your heart is grieving over.​

These are three narrated dua’s from the Prophet (PBUH):​

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ، وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ، وَالْبُخْلِ وَالْجُبْنِ، وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ، وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ

Allaahumma ‘innee ‘a’oothu bika minal-hammi walhazani, wal’ajzi walkasali, walbukhli waljubni, wa dhala’id-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijaal

O Allah, I seek refuge in You from grief and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from being overcome by debt and overpowered by men (i.e. others).​

للّهُـمَّ إِنِّي عَبْـدُكَ ابْنُ عَبْـدِكَ ابْنُ أَمَتِـكَ نَاصِيَتِي بِيَـدِكَ، مَاضٍ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ، عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضَاؤكَ أَسْأَلُـكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ سَمَّـيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ أِوْ أَنْزَلْتَـهُ فِي كِتَابِكَ، أَوْ عَلَّمْـتَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ خَلْقِـكَ أَوِ اسْتَـأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِي عِلْمِ الغَيْـبِ عِنْـدَكَ أَنْ تَجْـعَلَ القُرْآنَ رَبِيـعَ قَلْبِـي، وَنورَ صَـدْرِي وجَلَاءَ حُـزْنِي وذَهَابَ هَمِّـي

Allaahumma ‘innee ‘abduka, ibnu ‘abdika, ibnu ‘amatika, naasiyatee biyadika, maadhin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadhaa’uka, ‘as’aluka bikulli ismin huwa laka, sammayta bihi nafsaka, ‘aw ‘anzaltahu fee kitaabika, ‘aw ‘allamtahu ‘ahadan min khalqika, ‘awista’tharta bihi fee ‘ilmil-ghaybi ‘indaka, ‘an taj’alal-Qur’aana rabee’a qalbee, wa noora sadree, wa jalaa’a huznee, wa thahaaba hammee.​

O Allah, I am Your slave and the son of Your male slave and the son of your female slave. My forehead is in Your Hand ( you have control over me). I am subject to Your decree, and Your decision upon me is justice itself. I ask You by every name that is Yours by which You have named Yourself, or which You revealed in Your Book,or which You have taught any one of Your creation, or which You have kept to Yourself in the knowledge of the unseen that is with You, to make the Quran the spring of my heart, and the light of my chest, the removal of my sorrow and the departure of my worries.”​

لا إلهَ إلا أنتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنْتُ مِنَ الظّالِمِيْنَ

Laa ilaaha illa Anta, subhaanaka inni kuntu min al-zaalimeen

None has the right to be worshipped but You (O Allah), Glorified (and Exalted) be You (above all that (evil) they associate with You).​

It is also key to find useful activities that are fun and healthy to help you deal with stress and your feelings and to release extra energy. Reading the Quran and other books, taking part in hobbies, writing or talking with friends are great ways to express your emotions and feel good about yourself.​

If you reach a stage where you are truly sick and those ill thoughts are not going away anymore and it is a constant mental battle, hasten to treat the problem with ruqyah as prescribed in shariah. You should also consider seeking psychological help but be mindful of side effects from some of the drugs they prescribe.

Puberty

Puberty is a transitional period where your body goes from that of a child to an adult. Puberty also means reaching the stage of accountability for Muslim women, whereby you reach the mental level of understanding the orders and prohibitions of Islam.

People usually start going through puberty between ages 8 and 14. Puberty doesn’t happen all at once – it comes in stages and can take many years. You might have some signs of puberty at an early age, while other changes show up years later. Bodies are unique, so puberty is different for each person and everyone goes through puberty at their own pace.​

What your body goes through during puberty

  • You may get acne on your face and body.
  • You start to sweat more, and you may have body odor (when your sweat smells bad). You may want to shower more and start using deodorant.
  • Hair grows under your armpits.
  • Hair grows around your genitals — this is called pubic hair.
  • You may grow more hair on your arms and legs, and the hair may get darker.
  • You may feel some pain in your arms and legs as you grow (“growing pains”)
  • Your breasts develop and get bigger.
  • Your hips get wider and your body may become more curvy.
  • You start getting your period.
  • Your labia may change color and grow bigger.​

What determines a Muslima’s maturity?

Islamically speaking, there are specific signs to look out for in order to determine whether you have reached the age of maturity/ accountability:​

  1. Menstruation
  2. Growth of pubic hair
  3. Reaching the age of fifteen years
  4. Some discharge caused by desire when awake or asleep.