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Preparing for Motherhood: Quran & Sunnah

In the journey to prepare for motherhood, we should take guidance on the significant responsibilities, trials, and rewards associated with raising children from the Quran and Sunnah.

Guardianship and Responsibility

أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ فَمَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ، فَالأَمِيرُ الَّذِي عَلَى النَّاسِ رَاعٍ وَهْوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْهُمْ، وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتِهِ بَيْتِ بَعْلِهَا وَوَلَدِهِ وَهْىَ مَسْئُولَةٌ عَنْهُمْ، وَالْعَبْدُ رَاعٍ عَلَى مَالِ سَيِّدِهِ وَهْوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْهُ، أَلاَ فَكُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ ‏”‏‏ .‏وَهْوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْهُمْ، وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَى

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges. The ruler who has authority over people, is a guardian and is responsible for them, a man is a guardian of his family and is responsible for them; a woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them; a slave (‘Abu) is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it; so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your charges.”

Sahih al-Bukhari 2554

This Hadith emphasizes the role of guardianship and the responsibility placed on individuals for those under their care. This includes the crucial responsibility of mothers in raising and nurturing their children.

Children as a Trial and a Reward

وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ

“And know that your possessions and your children are but a trial and that surely, with Allaah is a mighty reward.”

Surah Al-Anfaal 8: 28

This verse serves as a reminder that children are both a trial and a source of great reward. The challenges of motherhood are acknowledged, but the promise of a significant reward from Allah underscores the importance of this responsibility.

Seeking Mercy through Kinship

قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ “‏ الرَّاحِمُونَ يَرْحَمُهُمُ الرَّحْمَنُ ارْحَمُوا مَنْ فِي الأَرْضِ يَرْحَمْكُمْ مَنْ فِي السَّمَاءِ الرَّحِمُ شُجْنَةٌ مِنَ الرَّحْمَنِ فَمَنْ وَصَلَهَا وَصَلَهُ اللَّهُ وَمَنْ قَطَعَهَا قَطَعَهُ اللَّهُ ‏”

Abdullah bin ‘Amr narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: “The merciful are shown mercy by Ar-Rahman. Be merciful on the earth, and you will be shown mercy from Who is above the heavens. The womb is named after Ar-Rahman, so whoever connects it, Allah connects him, and whoever severs it, Allah severs him.”

Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1924

This Hadith emphasizes the importance of mercy, a quality crucial in motherhood. A mother’s mercy and compassion play a vital role in the upbringing and well-being of her children.

Prioritizing the Remembrance of Allah

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تُلْهِكُمْ أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَلَا أَوْلَادُكُمْ عَن ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ ۚ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْخَاسِرُونَ

‘O you who believe, let not your properties or your children divert you from the Remembrance of Allaah. And whosoever does that, they are the losers.’

Surah AlMunaafiqoon 63: 9

This verse advises believers not to allow their wealth or children to distract them from the remembrance of Allah. It warns that those who succumb to such distractions will ultimately face loss, emphasizing the need for prioritizing spiritual focus amidst life’s blessings and responsibilities.

Importance of Knowing Lineage

‏ “‏ فِتْنَةُ الرَّجُلِ فِي أَهْلِهِ وَوَلَدِهِ وَجَارِهِ تُكَفِّرُهَا الصَّلاَةُ وَالصِّيَامُ وَالصَّدَقَةُ وَالأَمْرُ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَالنَّهْىُ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ ‏”‏

“The fitnah of a man with regard to his family, his children and his neighbours are expiated by his prayers, fasts, charity and enjoining what is good
and forbidding what is evil.”

Sunan ibn Majah 3955

In this Hadith, the Prophet (peace be upon him) speaks about the challenges a person faces within his family, including his children, emphasizing that these challenges can be expiated through various righteous deeds. The term “وَوَلَدِهِ” (“his children”) specifically points to the responsibility a person holds towards his descendants, highlighting the importance of preserving and nurturing the family lineage. The mentioned righteous actions, such as prayers, fasting, charity, and promoting goodness while discouraging harmful practices, serve as a means not only to expiate trials but also to actively contribute to the well-being and moral upbringing of the family. This underscores the interconnected nature of family responsibilities, lineage preservation, and the positive impact of righteous actions within the family unit.

وعنه قال‏:‏ قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏:‏ ‏ “‏إذا مات ابن آدم انقطع عمله إلا من ثلاث‏:‏ صدقة جارية ،أو علم ينتفع به، أو ولد صالح يدعو له‏”‏ ‏

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a Muslim dies, his actions are cut off from him except from three, continual charity (sadaqa jariya), knowledge he benefited from or a righteous child who supplicates for him”.

Riyadh as-Salihin 1383

This Hadith highlights the perpetual rewards of having righteous children. A mother’s efforts in raising pious children become a source of ongoing blessings, even after her passing.

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