Islamic Teachings on Motherhood

The Role of the Mother in Islam

Motherhood holds a place of immense honor and respect in Islam. The role of a mother is not just about nurturing and caring for her children but also about being their first teacher and guide in life. The importance of mothers is highlighted in numerous verses of the Quran and Hadiths.

One of the most famous Hadiths regarding the status of mothers is:

وعنه رضي الله عنه قال‏: ‏ جاء رجل إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال‏: ‏ يا رسول الله من أحق الناس بحسن صحابتي‏؟‏ قال‏: ‏ ‏”‏ أمك‏”‏ قال‏: ‏ ثم من‏؟‏ قال‏: ‏ ‏”‏ أمك‏”‏ قال‏: ‏ ثم من‏؟‏ قال‏: ‏ ‏”‏أمك‏”‏ قال‏: ‏ ثم من‏؟‏ قال‏: ‏ ‏”‏ أبوك‏”‏ ‏(‏‏(‏متفق عليه‏)‏‏)‏‏.‏

وفي رواية‏: ‏ يارسول الله من أحق بحسن الصحبة‏؟‏ قال‏: ‏ ‏”‏ أمك، ثم أمك، ثم أمك، ثم أباك، ثم أدناك أدناك‏”‏‏.‏

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A person came to Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and asked, “Who among people is most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (ﷺ) said, “Your mother”. He again asked, ”Who next?” “Your mother”, the Prophet (ﷺ) replied again. He asked, “Who next?” He (the Prophet (ﷺ)) said again, “Your mother.” He again asked, “Then who?” Thereupon he (ﷺ) said,” Then your father.”In another narration: “O Messenger of Allah! Who is most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (ﷺ) said, “Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then your nearest, then nearest”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Riyad as-Salihin 316

Key Quranic Verses and Hadiths about Motherhood

The Quran emphasises the hardships and sacrifices mothers endure, highlighting their significance:

وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍۢ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ ١٤

And We have commanded people to ˹honour˺ their parents. Their mothers bore them through hardship upon hardship, and their weaning takes two years. So be grateful to Me and your parents. To Me is the final return.

 Luqman 31:14

This verse not only acknowledges the physical and emotional challenges of motherhood but also reminds children to be grateful and kind to their parents, particularly their mothers.

Another verse that highlights the sacrifices of mothers is:

وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ كُرْهًۭا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًۭا ۖ وَحَمْلُهُۥ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ ثَلَـٰثُونَ شَهْرًا ۚ حَتَّىٰٓ إِذَا بَلَغَ أَشُدَّهُۥ وَبَلَغَ أَرْبَعِينَ سَنَةًۭ قَالَ رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِىٓ أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ ٱلَّتِىٓ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَىَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَٰلِدَىَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَـٰلِحًۭا تَرْضَىٰهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِى فِى ذُرِّيَّتِىٓ ۖ إِنِّى تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّى مِنَ ٱلْمُسْلِمِينَ ١٥

We have commanded people to honour their parents. Their mothers bore them in hardship and delivered them in hardship. Their ˹period of˺ bearing and weaning is thirty months. In time, when the child reaches their prime at the age of forty, they pray, “My Lord! Inspire me to ˹always˺ be thankful for Your favours which You blessed me and my parents with, and to do good deeds that please You. And instil righteousness in my offspring. I truly repent to You, and I truly submit ˹to Your Will˺.”

Al-Ahqaf 46:15

These verses and Hadiths serve as a reminder of the profound respect and gratitude we owe our mothers for their endless sacrifices and unconditional love.

The Mother as the First Teacher

Mothers are often the first teachers of their children, imparting essential life skills and religious teachings. From an early age, mothers can instill the principles of Islam in their children, teaching them tarbiyah (living in a holistic Islamic way of life), about faith, salah, adab (etiquette) and akhlaq (good manners). The influence of a mother is powerful and long-lasting; it shapes the character and beliefs of her children.

حَدَّثَنَا عَارِمٌ، قَالَ‏: ‏ حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ أَيُّوبَ، عَنْ نَافِعٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ قَالَ‏: ‏ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم‏: ‏ كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ، وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْؤولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ، فَالأَمِيرُ رَاعٍ وَهُوَ مَسْؤُولٌ، وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ عَلَى أَهْلِهِ وَهُوَ مَسْؤُولٌ، وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَى بَيْتِ زَوْجِهَا وَهِيَ مَسْؤُولَةٌ، أَلاَ وَكُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ، وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْؤُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ‏.‏

Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, “All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of the people of his house and he is responsible. A woman is the shepherd of the house of her husband and she is responsible. Each of you is a shepherd and each is responsible for his flock.”

Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 212

This Hadith emphasises the responsibility of mothers in guiding and nurturing their children.

Tarbiyah

Tarbiyah is the process of nurturing and developing an individual’s spiritual, moral, and ethical character. It wholly includes growth, emphasising not only religious knowledge but also practical application in daily life. As Muslim mothers, we need to raise our children with tarbiyah to ensure they grow up to be knowledgeable, well rounded, sure-of-themselves, sure of their identity and paths as Muslims.

This section will cover what we need to understand about Tarbiyah, in order to teach and guide our children accordingly.

The Foundations of Tarbiyah

Tawheed (Oneness of Allah): Tarbiyah begins with understanding the concept of tawheed—the belief in the absolute oneness of Allah. Tawheed is the cornerstone of faith, and all other aspects of tarbiyah revolve around it.

Knowledge and Practice: Tarbiyah involves acquiring knowledge about Islam and applying it consistently. It’s not merely theoretical; it’s about living the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah.

Character Development: Tarbiyah aims to cultivate noble character traits, such as patience, kindness, honesty, and humility. These virtues are essential for personal growth and positive interactions with others.

Practical Steps in Tarbiyah

Daily Rituals: Regular prayers (Salah), recitation of the Qur’an, and remembrance of Allah (Dhikr) are fundamental practices. Consistency in these acts nurtures spirituality.

Seeking Knowledge: Attend Islamic classes, read books, and engage with knowledgeable scholars. Seek both religious and practical knowledge to enhance your understanding.

Self-Reflection: Regularly assess your actions, intentions, and behaviour. Identify areas for improvement and strive to align them with Islamic principles.

Community Involvement: Active participation in the Muslim community fosters a sense of belonging and provides opportunities for learning, teaching, and service.

Challenges in Tarbiyah

Distractions: Modern life is filled with distractions—technology, materialism, and worldly pursuits. Balancing these with spiritual growth can be challenging.

Consistency: Tarbiyah requires consistent effort. It’s not a one-time task but a lifelong journey.

Struggles and Tests: Trials and tribulations test our commitment to tarbiyah. Patience and reliance on Allah are crucial during difficult times.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the role of a mother in Islam is one of the highest honours and greatest responsibilities. Mothers are cherished, respected, and revered for their sacrifices and dedication. As we continue to explore the various aspects of motherhood, let us always keep in mind the profound teachings of Islam that guide us in our journey. By practicing this way of life, we are better suited to ensure our children learn tarbiyah. May Allah grant all mothers the strength, patience, and wisdom to fulfill their noble roles.

Remember, tarbiyah is not a destination—it’s a journey toward closeness to Allah and excellence in character.