Additional and Concluding Points on Motherhood

Dealing with External Influences and Media

The modern world presents numerous external influences that can impact your child’s upbringing.

Monitoring Media Consumption: Be vigilant about the content your children are exposed to through TV, internet, and social media. Set limits on screen time and ensure age-appropriate content.

Open Communication: Maintain open lines of communication with your children. Discuss the bias and messages conveyed through media and help them develop critical thinking skills.

Providing Alternatives: Offer alternative activities to screen time, such as reading, outdoor play, and family games. Encourage hobbies and interests that promote creativity and social interaction.

Setting the Example of Honesty:

• As parents, be honest and truthful in your actions and words. Children learn from their primary role models, so model the behaviour you want to see in them.
  • The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) emphasised honesty, even in small matters. Avoid making promises you can’t keep, as it counts as a lie.
  • Share supplications and good habits with your children, following the example of the Prophet.

حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ سَلاَمٍ، حَدَّثَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ بْنُ جَعْفَرٍ، عَنْ أَبِي سُهَيْلٍ، نَافِعِ بْنِ مَالِكِ بْنِ أَبِي عَامِرٍ عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ آيَةُ الْمُنَافِقِ ثَلاَثٌ إِذَا حَدَّثَ كَذَبَ، وَإِذَا وَعَدَ أَخْلَفَ، وَإِذَا اؤْتُمِنَ خَانَ ‏”‏‏.‏

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “The signs of a hypocrite are three: Whenever he speaks, he tells a lie; and whenever he promises, he breaks his promise; and whenever he is entrusted, he betrays (proves to be dishonest)”.

Sahih al-Bukhari 6095

حَدَّثَنَا عُثْمَانُ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا جَرِيرٌ، عَنْ مَنْصُورٍ، عَنْ أَبِي وَائِلٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ إِنَّ الصِّدْقَ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْبِرِّ، وَإِنَّ الْبِرَّ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ، وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيَصْدُقُ حَتَّى يَكُونَ صِدِّيقًا، وَإِنَّ الْكَذِبَ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْفُجُورِ، وَإِنَّ الْفُجُورَ يَهْدِي إِلَى النَّارِ، وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيَكْذِبُ، حَتَّى يُكْتَبَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ كَذَّابًا ‏”‏‏.‏

Narrated `Abdullah: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to Al-Fajur (i.e. wickedness, evil-doing), and Al-Fajur (wickedness) leads to the (Hell) Fire, and a man may keep on telling lies till he is written before Allah, a liar.”

Sahih al-Bukhari 6094

Choosing the Right Time for Guidance:

• Seize opportune moments to impart guidance. Whether during outings, travels, meal times, or moments of illness, find teachable moments.
• The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) often shared wisdom during various situations. For instance, he instructed Ibn Abbas while riding on a mount.

عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَبَّاسٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا قَالَ: “كُنْت خَلْفَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه و سلم يَوْمًا، فَقَالَ: يَا غُلَامِ! إنِّي أُعَلِّمُك كَلِمَاتٍ: احْفَظْ اللَّهَ يَحْفَظْك، احْفَظْ اللَّهَ تَجِدْهُ تُجَاهَك، إذَا سَأَلْت فَاسْأَلْ اللَّهَ، وَإِذَا اسْتَعَنْت فَاسْتَعِنْ بِاَللَّهِ، وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ الْأُمَّةَ لَوْ اجْتَمَعَتْ عَلَى أَنْ يَنْفَعُوك بِشَيْءٍ لَمْ يَنْفَعُوك إلَّا بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللَّهُ لَك، وَإِنْ اجْتَمَعُوا عَلَى أَنْ يَضُرُّوك بِشَيْءٍ لَمْ يَضُرُّوك إلَّا بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللَّهُ عَلَيْك؛ رُفِعَتْ الْأَقْلَامُ، وَجَفَّتْ الصُّحُفُ” . رَوَاهُ التِّرْمِذِيُّ [رقم: 2516] وَقَالَ: حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ. وَفِي رِوَايَةِ غَيْرِ التِّرْمِذِيِّ: “احْفَظْ اللَّهَ تَجِدْهُ أمامك، تَعَرَّفْ إلَى اللَّهِ فِي الرَّخَاءِ يَعْرِفُك فِي الشِّدَّةِ، وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ مَا أَخْطَأَك لَمْ يَكُنْ لِيُصِيبَك، وَمَا أَصَابَك لَمْ يَكُنْ لِيُخْطِئَك، وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ النَّصْرَ مَعَ الصَّبْرِ، وَأَنْ الْفَرَجَ مَعَ الْكَرْبِ، وَأَنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا”.

On the authority of Abu Abbas Abdullah bin Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: One day I was behind the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) [riding on the same mount] and he said, “O young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice]: Be mindful of Allah and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, then ask Allah [alone]; and if you seek help, then seek help from Allah [alone]. And know that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with what Allah had already prescribed for you. And if they were to gather together to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with what Allah had already prescribed against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.”

It was related by at-Tirmidhi, who said it was a good and sound hadeeth. Another narration, other than that of Tirmidhi, reads: Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. Recognize and acknowledge Allah in times of ease and prosperity, and He will remember you in times of adversity. And know that what has passed you by [and you have failed to attain] was not going to befall you, and what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and hardship with ease.

Hadith 19, 40 Hadith an-Nawawi

Fairness and Equal Treatment Among Children:

• Treat all your children fairly and equally. Avoid favouritism, as it can lead to resentment.
• Reflect on the story of Prophet Yaqub’s sons (Yusuf and Binyamin) to understand the importance of treating children equally.

Encourage Confidence in Their Identity:

• Teach your children about their Muslim identity, beliefs, and morals. Help them understand that being Muslim is a source of pride (as part of the tarbiyah you instil in them).
• Encourage them to learn about Islam, participate in acts of worship, and develop a strong connection with Allah.

Respecting Boundaries and Social Interactions:

• Teach your children about personal boundaries and respecting others’ boundaries.
• Instil empathy and kindness, emphasising the importance of treating others well.
• Encourage them to observe hijab not only in clothing but also in their behaviour and interactions.

Conclusion

Motherhood is a profound journey filled with responsibilities, challenges, and immense rewards. As Muslim mothers, our ultimate goal is to raise children who are righteous, well-mannered, and strong in their faith. By focusing on their spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being, we can guide them towards becoming confident and responsible individuals.

Our efforts in nurturing our children, instilling Islamic values, and providing a loving and supportive environment are acts of worship that bring us closer to Allah. May Allah grant us the strength, patience, and wisdom to fulfill our roles as mothers and guide our children on the path of righteousness. Ameen.